The Life We Choose
Here's the premise: We are all, right now, living the life we choose (agreed?!) Let me repeat the sentence again - "living the life we choose" This choice, of course, is not a single, monumental choice **smile** No one decides, for example, "I'm going to move to UK, and in five years I will be a waiter in a so-so restaurant, planning to get my 8-by-10's done real soon so that I can find an agent and become a star," or "I'm going to marry a dreadful person like Prince William **ahhhhh hehe** and we'll live together in a loveless marriage, staying together only for the kids, who I don't much like, either." **just kidding + winking smile**The choices I'm talking about here are made daily, hourly, moment-by-moment.. kind of thing. Do we try something new, or stick to the tried-and-true? Do we take a risk, or eat what's already on our dish? Do we ponder a thrilling adventure, or contemplate what's on TV? Do we walk over and meet that interesting stranger, or do we play it safe? Do we indulge our heart, or cater to our fear? Well, think about it, sometimes these "weirdo" questions do pop-up in my head **confusing smile**The bottom-line question here: Do we pursue what we want, or do we do what's comfortable? For the most part, most people most often choose "comfort" (majority of us - yeah!) - the familiar, the time-honored, the well-worn but well-known (do you get what I'm trying to say, else fuck it) **smile** After a lifetime of choosing between "comfort" and "risk", we are left with the life we currently have. Like NOW!! And it was all of our own choosing **blank face + blank smile**
Big Wave and Small Wave Story
If you watched "Tuesday with Morrie" movie, there's a moment where Mitch visited his professor (whom he called Coach!!). Mitch asked his Coach to tell a "Big Wave" story to his girlfriend - Jennie (I think...) **smile** So, this is how the story goes.... (Note: I can't really remember the exact words... but this is how it goes)Big wave asked small wave "Why do you look so frightened?" Small wave said "Well! you so huge and strong wave. And we are so small and tiny wave. Don't you see that!" So the big wave said "No, no. Don't YOU... see it, who said that you are a wave BUT you are PART of the OCEAN!"
I watched it again last night at Hallmark channel and it make me wonder through out the night until I dozz off, what actually the story trying to say. Till now, I don't fucking know shit about what is this story means?? **rolling eyes smile + deep deep thinking**
Anyone care to explain???
Being Single Isn't a State of Waiting....
No matter how "together" a couple feel, how melded, how much a unit, even if their two hearts beat as one, it'll take more than true love to get them into a movie theater (for an example); it'll take two -- not one, two -- tickets (you know what I mean) **eye rolling smile**Whatever a pair of lovers want to do together in life, unless they're literally joined at the hip (though this might be a gray area), on some level they just have got to do it alone **damn!** Sometimes you just need to do stuff alone (am I right?!). I do watch movies alone, window shopping, eat & drink, afternoon walk, watch sunset, go to the gym and **drum rolling - my common word** bla-bla-bla **hehehehe**. So W-H-A-T?! Some of my friends will give me the comments like - Why you go alone? Are you ok? "Ooo I'm sorry, I'm not there for you" statement will definately come out from any of my friends mouth. I know my friends concerns and they would be gald and happy to be there for me if their time persist. But hey! no worries... **smile** As I about to say, sometimes when you do things alone, you can do things FREELY - like BEING your-fucking-self. For example: If I want to bawl loudly, belly laugh or dive-bomb into a keg of greasy popcorn, there's no need to censor my urges **understand what I MEAN now..**I'm not anti-romance (I'm not - trust me!!) I'm not advocating or anything like that but I'm simply saying there's nothing shameful about relying on one's own company as entertainment on a Saturday night (sometimes only ok NOT most of the times) Trust me! it's not easy for me to say this but you will learned from time-to-time. It sure beats dating someone boring (brain-dead)? so you won't be branded a loser. Check the dictionary: "loser" doesn't mean "dateless"; it means "squander." As in squandering my time, my heart, my body and soul, I discovered that your life doesn't start when two-become-one; single isn't a state of waiting. I have highs and lows in my life **sigh!**, great circle of friends **yeah!** and a great need for down time: time spent alone. Allow me to give you some tips like what will you do when you spent your time alone? **big big smile** Well, just think about what you want in 5 years time? Where will you be in 5 years time? Will I ever get marry? How come I still have no boyfriend yet (for the singles)? (and the questions will keep on-and-on flowing in your mind) **winking smile** Single-tons, this is the moments for you think what you really want for yourself!!!! I'm not saying NO to marriage or relationship, but by saying "I do" in marriage or realationship doesn't quatantee forever. I could be wrong or I could be right (I'm not to fucking sure about that - damn!) **confuse smile** Even if I don't want to always live alone, that's the way I'll enter either heaven or hell (if that's my final destination) **smile** And while I'm here on Earth, I will always be HERE **smile**
SERENDIPITY will come to me...
SERENDIPITY glanced in my mind out of sudden and it reminded me of my dear friend Yan. She mentioned this word "SERENDIPITY" in her blog before. I don't understand what this word mean until I took the effort to search in the dictionary **hehehe**. Well, let's say that I'm not that cool with this long-long type of wording. Simple english the better **hehehe**Have you ever search and hoping for something good and pleasant to ease whatever feelings that still trap in you? Have you ever felt threaten by your own emotion? To answer this type of questions, it do freck me out most of the time **rolling eyes**. Aha! why do i freck out - simple... I just don't know the answers **confusing face + smile** Mmm.. maybe I do, maybe I don't. I agreed with Yan, it is something too complex to be elaborate. It is there, lurking now and then, with or without our conscious mind. I’m sure, in a corner of our heart, no matter how big or small the space given, we still reserve it for "HOPE"; "FAITH"; "LOVE". A person with no hope is a person with no future (I agreed with you - Yan) **smile**However, sometimes when you hope so fucking much - and it doesn't turn like what we hope for, it's just break your heart **sad smile** Do you ever experianced this type of feeling? Damn! I hate it when I started to feel it. But again, whether we reliaze it or not, HOPE + FAITH + LOVE do play a big role in every little aspect in out daily life. I do still HOPE for certain things in my life, I do still believe in FAITH and I believe so strongly that LOVE will always WIN **big big smile**I bet with my little finger I(not middle finger ah!) **smile** that each and everyone of us have their ups and downs in their daily life. We need to face all this SHIT's, no matter we like it or not and that's why we called it - the journey of LIFE. Sometimes we encountered that HOPE, FAITH and LOVE doesn't come our way. If we damn lucky enough, we will encounter it somehow **smile** The wonderful moments that touches your heart in a very unique and special ways without you noticed it, or asking for it, or plan for it... well, this is definately SERENDIPITY. I do have my own SHIT's in my life, and I have no regrets going through every single thing. I do look back into my past, just to remind myself on some certains things so that I won't repeat the same fucking mistakes again-and-again. You know what! sometimes when you recall the wonderful moments, out of sudden you just smile **hehehe** (well, it happen to me a lot). **hehehe** my girlfriends caught me once, and they asked me - why la you smile-smile? Of course the common answers - Mmm.. nothing with a smile. They started laughing and called me "siau ca bo". It means crazy women **hehehe**. Well, all these things the ones that keep me moving on... **smile** Yes, obstacle does persist but what’s life without obstacle after all? Life must consist of ups and down **smile** Else it wouldn’t be complete. How does SERENDIPITY comes to you, one thing for sure, "GOD" have set -whatever- plan/plans for each and everyone of us. As for myself, I will keep on hoping, believing, loving and -whatever shit- because I know deep down in my heart - SERENDIPITY will never fails me. And I hope it will never fails you either... **winking eyes**To my dear Yan, knowing the word of SERENDIPITY, it's such a blessing **huggies**
A Clinical Opinion of the Single Life
How the fuck should I start on this **rolling eyes**. I read this book called - "Men don't cry but women do" (half way thru only) **smile**. Ok, let's take a realistic and very serious look at what is actually occurring in the lives of single women **Mmm**. It seems that recently I've been reading that 44-54% of women are single based on a survey (damn! not really sure whether is this true or what but that what it says) **so sian liao** With such a high percentage, it is no wonder I'm seeing so many books on the life of the single woman **crap!!** however, I find it rather fascinating since I was single too **hehehe + smile** On certain chapters, the book does focus on sex all while promoting positive changes. It basically gives single woman a much needed reality check **Mmm** for example - Is sex that satisfying for single women or would they enjoy sex more in a much more stable and secure environment, like marriage? (very interesting!!) This book seem to make women more aware of the connection between sexuality and the emotions (very good combination) **winking smile** We women know they are connected, so this is not completely new information I think la. However, there was much to learn from this book in regards to how hormones affect mood and etc **don't tell anyone smile**Let's move on other chapters (flipping the book now) **smile**, there is one comment that disturbed me in a unique way. When the book said Adam and Eve were having casual sex (do you believe that, damn), my mind could not comprehend how anyone would ever believe such a statement **argh + confusing smile** To me, Adam and Eve are the ultimate soul mates, created by "God" and an example of the ideal relationship we should strive for in a troubled world. On the other point this book is telling woman how damaging casual sex can be and on the other hand says things like "you go girl". That can be confusing **damn!!** and I think this book is trying so hard not to offend people **shit!!** that this book is trying to present both sides of the situation (I have a feeling that this book will be "gone by the wind") Women who have any religious beliefs will not find much advice about that subject in this book. Anyway, Knowledge is power. Even if you are married or single or divorcee or -whatever shit-, you might enjoy the information about the mysteries of the male psyche in this book. Perhaps it is just the nature of love to pounce on you when you are not looking **winking smile**
Life's Greatest Lesson - Tuesday with Morrie
I been reading this book ever since in 1999 and this book was given to me as a present from a friend - Roza (Roza, I still have the book and thanks for showing me how beautiful life is back than..) **big smile**. Until recently, **Mmm.. I think last week** Hallmark Channel in Astro played "Tuesday with Morrie". I was shocked, speechless and excited cuz I don't even know that there's a movie **thinking smiling** It was last week Friday **Mmm.. I think.. + rolling eyes**, I waited patiently right infront of Astro. I took my dinner earlier, took my bath extra earlier ... whatever it is, everything all extra earlier on that day. Sharp at 09:00pm - the movie started at Channel 11 **smile** From the beginning of the movie and up to the end, I just can't stop sniffing or another word - I CRIED **crying face + smile** The movie is so so damn touching... you just have to watch it. If not get the damn BOOK... is WORTH it!!!Tuesday with Morrie synopsis of the story as per below:
"Tuesdays With Morrie" is the heartwarming story of Albom's relationship with his college mentor, Morrie Schwartz, with whom Albom has lost touch for 16 years. Upon seeing him on the "Nightline" program - talking to Ted Koppel about what it was like to die from Lou Gehrig's disease - Albom was both horrified and ashamed. He called his old teacher, flew to Boston for a reunion, and began a series of weekly visits, rekindling their loving teacher-student relationship while tackling a larger subject in their final "class": the meaning of life.My favorite quote from Tuesday with Morrie: "You see, . . . you closed your eyes. That was the difference. Sometimes you cannot believe what you see, you have to believe what you feel. And if you are ever going to have people trust you, you must feel that you can trust them, too — even when you're in the dark. Even when you're falling."
BreakAway to Litang Kijal ..
**Me ... surrounded by the mother NATURE**Don't get to excited, cuz this is old story. Don't have the opportunity to upload it. Reason why I publish it now because I love mothernature and I had a great time there.
Well, a breakaway to Lintang Kijal ( I really hope I spelled it right.. else just fuck it la) was a last minute arrangement (Mmm.. I think - can't remember). But one thing for sure is that at first, we (me and my housemate) wanted to go to Genting but the hotel "fully booked" so ... Lintang Kijal here we come la **hehehe** Since it's a holiday season, there's so many people at LK (short form for Lintang Kijal - so lazy to spell it out la) but that... however never stop us to climb the bukit-bukau, just to have a nice spot. Nice spot to see "guys" in tights **winking smile** (unfortunately, NONE!!!) **sad smile**
My friends enjoyed themselves with the waterfalls but not me. Too bad for me **sad smile**. If you readers wonder why - than I would say - "women stuff" la **hehehe**
Anyway, I had a great time.. It's about time for me to breakaway for a short holiday... and I finally I have it **smile**
A Verb or A Noun or An Impression ....
Crap! It hit on me again.. You guys must be thinking what the fuck I'm talking about (there I go again.. I doing it again.. Damn!) **deep rolling eyes**. I had a chat with Jit last night. He been reading my blogs that I posted. He giving me a comment (No worries, Jit - no heart feelings) that I used a lot of "you know what I mean..." **sigh** Let me be straight-forward here - the F-U-C-K word **deep thinking, really deep thinking**What actually the meaning of F-U-C-K? **big big smile** Ya! ya! I know what you guys starting to think now... **hehehe**. Let see in A VERB perspective, well it mean in so many ways for example 1) To engage in sexual intercourse **winking smile + rolling eyes** 2) To take advantage of, betray, or cheat; victimize (depands on how you express into words) 3) Used in the imperative as a signal of angry dismissal (this is what I MEANT, ok!!) **hehehe** Now, in A NOUN perspective, 1) Used as an intensive: What the fuck did you do that for? 2) Used to express extreme displeasure. **Aha!!** Last but not least, in A Pharasal VERB's, i) fuck up - To make a mistake; bungle something; To act carelessly, foolishly, or incorrectly; To cause to be intoxicated.**deep thinking.. Mmm** Question: Does it make you sound cooler, smarter or -whatever-, when you keep on saying the F*** word? **confused smile** Some people might find it impressive, some don't. I think this word commonly used among teenager's, they used this word to act COOL and try to find a spot to fit IN... (you know what I mean). I was highlighted that for an adult - it seems like juvenile at best, and crude or stupid at the worst **Mmm** Right, here goes... **drum rolling** Sometimes it happened just a slipped out from my tougue, sometimes I used it to make my fucking sentence more U-M-M-P-H, more FIRM (like BOH) **hehehe**, I believed this only happens when you are in the midst of expressing your anger to someone, trying so damn hard to get "whatever shit" that you are trying to get across to your partner, friends, relatives -whoever- and this -whoever- is so blur or not willing to accept/listen/acknowledge and bla-bla-bla (whatever la - you know what I mean..). As for me, it is just an impression and doesn't mean that when you said this "words" it will reflect that you are fucking bad person with fucking bad attitute etc.., right!!! **winking smile** That's why we have a phase saying "Do not judge a BOOK by it's COVER" **smile**However, I do agreed with Jit and Larry too that sometimes you just need to control your-fucking-self to use less of this words **smile**. However, is all in the mind, right **winking smile**
THE ROSE WITHIN.....
I'm not sure why I feel like upload this "The Rose Within"... I guess it's really meant a lot to me and it make me reliaze something about myself **smile**. Hoping so much that it will help you readers too!! A good friend of mine Larry dropped me "SMS" yesterday, and the SMS said - "Don't let the world stuff make you fucking crazy. It's just the OPENING" (he didn't used the F*** word when he sent **hehehe**, I ADD it up - sorry Larry!!. It makes the sentence, more U-M-M-P-H) **hehe + big big smile**. Check out the ROSE WITHIN .....
A certain man planted a rose and watered it faithfully and before it blossomed, he examined it. He saw the bud that would soon blossom, but noticed thorns upon the stem and he thought, "How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns? Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose, and just before it was ready to bloom... it died.
So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose. The God-like qualities planted in us at birth, grow amid the thorns of our faults. Many ofus look at ourselves and see only the thorns, the defects.
We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never realize our potential.
Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them. One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns of another, and find therose within them.
This is one of the characteristic of love... to look at a person, know their true faults and accepting that person into your life... all the while recognizing the nobility in their soul. Help others to realize they can overcome their faults.If we show them the "rose" within themselves, they will conquer their "thorns". Only then will they blossom many times over.
AM I WEAK OR AM I STRONG ......
Sometimes I fear and just want to run, Away from everything that needs to be done,I get overwhelmed and just break down and cry,But you can never say that I didn't try,Am I strong to have made it this far?Or am I weak because I haven't reached for the brightest star?Independence isn't something I have grasped at just yet,Sometimes I feel like a child lost in the dark without a safety net,But you can not say that I am not a responsible girl,So am I weak to have insecurities such as these?Or would you say I am strong enough to be at ease?I shy away from human affection in fear of losing control,Though what I want most of all is someone who shares my soul,Am I strong to have stayed innocent this long?Or am I weak because of the guilt I feel when sometimes I do wrong?I sometimes get so angry at the world that I just want to fight,Knowing that self destruction just isn't right,I lash out at the ones I love and just wish that I could die,I just wish that everything they ever wanted, I could buy,Am I weak for feeling so helpless when it comes to the ones I love?Or am I strong because the love I feel for them is as strong as the angels up above?I believe that most of all true love does exist somewhere out there for me,But I also fear with all my heart that I can never have a love that rare,I still believe in fairy tales as foolish as that may be,And now it's up to you to decide whether I am strong or whether I am weak,Because to me the line between is just too thin to seek, But then how can you decide whether someone is too weak or too strong,When knowing all of those factors make up who they are?And if that's the case then I would say I am both of these at the same time,Because I am who I am and that's all that matters to those who read this rhyme.
Chances or Choices...
The unknown and unpredictable element in happenings that seems to have no assignable cause - that is all about "Chances"... As for "Choices" it could be a lot of things... **Mmm** 1) The act of choosing; selection. 2) The power, right, or liberty to choose; option. 3) One that is chosen and bla-bla-bla - lazy to mention liao **winking smile**Questions - how do you know on that moment of time/second.. - it is a chance or a choice? Have you ever think about it? Does it make sense to you? Have you ever experianced that moment of time? Have you ever caught yourself up in this chances & choices situation? What would you do? One damn thing for sure, I do - I do caught up in this situation. And how I wish i don't have to through it. It is so SHIT man. Sometimes I felt like pulling my hair **thank GOD, myhair still inplace**, ripping your heart (Phew! thank GOD again..I don't have any sharp stuffs. Else I need to get a personal advice from Anna), jump down from your apartment balcony **
unless tsunami hits again than I have no choice**, take sleeping pills **
if I didn't get any goodnight sleep, this is my solution** (stop it! I know it's bad and bla-bla-bla, I know how to control it - no worries) and
whatever shit, ok. However, I still have my senses **
thank GOD**, for sure and definately.. I won't do all those shits. The worst that I could do is had a good cry. A good cry.. sometimes it just freck me out when I see myself crying. **
dore-mon looks better than I am, I think** But yeah, it does help you in a small tiny way. Other alternatives, I talk it out with my friends, chill out with them, play pool, go to gym - improve my side kick and punch in my kickboxing class **
so that I kick ass, ok**, attend my tai chi and yoga class, salsa with my personal trainer **
oh yes.. groovy baby..!!**, bottom line is.. I try to keep myself as
fucking busy as I can so that I don't have to pressure myself with all this nonsense. Hey! don't get me wrong, I'm not running away from this symptoms but it just that it's not the time for you to even think about it. Maybe is not the right time for you to think or make a decision on the chances or the choices that you about to take when you feeling confused, not being rational etc .... Believed me, when you are not
your-fucking-self ... you be making 99.99% wrong choices and you will definately blew your chances away **
Mmm...**
Honestly, it's a bit hard when come to relationship when you caught yourself up in this chance vs choice symptoms. Well, when it involved feelings is a bit difficult to handle, I think **rolling eyes**. For example: When we meet the right person to love when we're at the right place at the right time, that's chance. When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's not a choice - That's chance. Being caught up in a moment (and there's a lot of couples who get together because of this..) is not a choice. That's also a chance. The difference is what happens afterwards **drum rolling**. When will you take that infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction to the next level? **Aha!** That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and contemplate whether you want to make this into a concrete relationship or just a fling. If you decide to love a person, even with his/her faults, that's not a chance. That's choice. Now, do you get what I'm trying to say... **hehehe**When you choose to be with a person, no matter what **no matter what, ok!!**, that's a damn choice. Even if you know there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, and richer than your mate, and yet, you decide to love your mate just the same, that's choice. Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by chance. But true love that lasts is truly a choice. A choice that we make. That's why you need to be as stable as it is before you make a choice. **smile**Soulmates - do you believe it? **deep thinking** Regarding soul mates, there's a beautiful movie quote that I believe is so true about this: " Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen." I do believe that soul mates do exist. That there is truly someone made for you. But it's still up to you to make the choice if you're going to do something about it or not.We may meet our soul mates by chance, but loving and staying with our soulmates is still a choice we have to make. **agreed with me +winking smile** We came to the world not by finding someone perfect to love... BUT to learn how to love an imperfect person perfectly... **smile**Do you have a journal or a diary? Well, I do. My girlfriends said that I'm crazy or too old to keep one **sigh**. When I caught myself in between of chances or choices symptoms, I release it in my journal. Not fucking sure about you readers, but as for me at least it help me to list down the pro's and con's before I take the chance and make the choice, you know what I mean **winking smile**..... Sometimes, you just need your heart to decide. Whatever that came close to your heart, well... that's the truth **winking smile**To all my friends (well! you know who you are... thanks from the bottom of my heart for being there and support me through my hardship - love you all) **huggies**
P.Ramlee Movies hidden concepts...
I was at Sea Breeze View (somewhere near Tanjung Tokong area) yesterday. It's a damn fucking cool place to hang out at night. You have a beach chair, you be sitting underneath a pine tree, there's x'mas lights and the best thing is that you be facing the beach. Ya, ya ... you won't be seeing a damn thing at night and that is just crap **rolling eyes** but just imagined dude, you sitting down after a long day at work **ahhhh**; order your drinks; start to light up your ciggies and just listen to the wave - tell me now!!!.. how relaxing is that? Aha tell me, tell me?? **Ahhhhhh.. being at the beach and listen to the wave.. Ahh** On second thought, hope there's no tsunami **tash-wood** - did i spell it right, fuck it la.
Anyway, I was with Jit and Richard, they were talking about the late and legenary P. Ramlee movies **picture as the above**. They used one of P.Ramlee dialogue in their conversations. Well, one thing about his movie, you won't get fucking bored **hehehe**. You can just watch again-and-again-and fucking again and you still laughing at the same thing **big big smile + rolling eyes**.
Ok here goes, there's one movie called "Pendekar Bujang Lapok" .. not sure whether you guys watched this or what!! This is how the story goes ... 3 fuckers would really much wanting to learn "silat". What is "silat" - malay tae- kwan-do la **shit! did i spell it right, damn** So, the fuckers met the see-fu la. They learned how to ber-silat and on the final day they been send to the jungle la, the grave yard la and inside a well **empty well of cause**. The see-fu would like to test them on what they have learned and advised them accordingly "Fuckers, don't care a thing on what going to happen around you, just focus and say -cuba an-". What is "cuba-an" - crap, how do I explain this. Well, to make it simple - Shit! it's just a test from the above and just go through it **the simple explaination that I can think off**
Something happened, when these fuckers meditation la, the see-fu daughter got kidnapped la. So, this poor old see-fu chased the buggers and met the fuckers **Oii, it rhymes la - hehe**. The old See-fu screamed at them "Yo fuckers! help me to save my daughter. Hurry!". Guess what! the 3 fuckers look at each other and said CUBA-AN.. **hehe** and the story go-on and on-and-on la. You want to know what happen, go and buy the VCD ok **winking smile**
Let's put the hidden concepts of this movie in reality mode (like now - your journey of life), you been tested in so many ways by the one and only - "GOD". Sometimes you can't expect your journey of life is a straight path - I guess it will be fucking bored, no trilling, no advanture and no fun. If your journey is like - a road to Batu Feringgi (if you are a Penang people, good! you know what I meant, else fuck it) **sigh + winking smile**, don't you think your life would be more exciting, fun, advanture and the best thing is you experianced the hardship by yourself. If you been born in this world with gold spoon feed whatever shit la, what happened if you don't have all those in a blink, in a snap, in whatever shit, ah? **deep thinking now.. Mmm..** Can you managed yourself to go through it? Maybe you can and maybe you can't. The only person that can answer that is yourself **sigh! I can help on this...**. I been through it and been there and no shit! it's not easy. But thanks to whatever CUBA-an that was given to me, I have go through it and it make me what I am now.Thanks Jit and Richard for bringing this topic out. It make me think for a moment about my life journal **hehehehe**. And thanks Yan for being my shadow for always **huggies** .
So.. when you feel lost within yourself - stand up, shut your eyes, take a deep breath **breath in.. breath out**, open your eyes and say - it's a FUCKING C-U-B-A-an........ **hehehe + big big smile** Mom, used to say to me that if you have a sincere heart and your are true to yourself, life will be treating you good and you will see the rewards from GOD. Mom, i maybe a pain in your ass at times, but thanks for the advice and I will hold it close in my heart for always **sigh! I miss my mummy now**
je ne sais quoi ...
**je ne sais quoi - what so fucking unique about this picture**
je ne sais quoi - I don't even know what it means until a good friend of mine, Desmond mentioned about it. We were chatting thru MSN and as usual (when you get excited about something, you ask people bla-bla-bla right - as for me now, I'm excited about my "blog") I asked him what he thinks of my blog. Then he said "je ne sais quoi". My dear readers - it means "something that one can't describe". His remarks make me pause for awhile and think **deep thinking + rolling my eyes**. Finally, I agreed with him. My blog ::Violent Beauty Insight:: is not ME at all. Well, just a bit la but not even close to 2% of me **winking smile**. Pictures that been displayed is just acting as a caption; however wordings acting as a remark and Desmond is right ... I'm more than this. But W-H-A-T??!! **damn it**
Do you ever thought of how unique you are in a way? Do you know what make you so unique? Do we really know what unique means? Well.. what I know is that unique is "Being the only one of its kind". One thing for sure, GOD have created every single soul in this world with it's own extraordinary. Everybody have their own unique-ness in them. But question!.. do you know what make you so unique - aha!!!.. now you start thinking **hehehe**
Sometimes you don't even noticed or you don't even know what make you so damn unique - well, take "myself" for example.. (Thanks! to Desmond - you make me thinking so damn fucking hard, man..) I don't even know what make me so unique because I never thought about it at all. Another good & special friend of mine - Foofy.. Well, he's always there to remind me about myself and never fail to remind me until I reliaze it **but, I don't think that I reliaze till now - rolling my eyes** Maybe I'm to blind to see within myself (well! no matter how expensive your contact lenses cost you, it definately does not help much) **winking smile**. Sometimes you just need someone to highlight over to you, remind you about YOU!!. I believed only those people that really know you so well.. to the extend that they even know what food you like or what is in your mind now without you even mentioned it. Scary ah - but this is the fact. And the fact is that these people are the ones who know how you unique you are internally **smile**.
I hope I will discover my unique-ness soon or never **hehehe** ...
Auckland vs Penang
Ya! ya! what is this.. Well actually my goodfren - Sue just came back from Auckland. It's a routine that everytime she got back, pool and foosball is a MUST to-do thing when we hang out **winking smile**. Our spot is always the "torch" - Jessie! I'm promoting the pub liao, will I be getting any special discount when I order drinks and food **hehe**
Sue beat me in pool, we played 8 balls. The girls (Sue and me) beat "fair and square" to the guys (Joe and Jessie). Hip! hip! Hooray to the girls **winking smile**. Unlike yesterday we lost to the guys **sigh**. We had lots of fun and yesterday was my last outing with Sue. Sue and Dom is flying back to Auckland today. $&%*#!! I can't send her off to the airport (this happened twice).
**(from left) Spider, Sue, Joe (the basketball jersey) and Jessie**
By the way, the girl beside Spider (the left) is Nikki (Joe girlfriend). we played with her too. Anyway, Najib (another friend of ours) is not around. Wonder where is he at this time.. **Mmm** Anyway, to Joe/Nikki, Spider, Jessie, Sue/Dom and Najib - thanks for the moments **big big smile**
Sue, just want you to know that I'm starting to miss you **huggies**
