:::Broken Innocence Insights:::

Chances or Choices...

The unknown and unpredictable element in happenings that seems to have no assignable cause - that is all about "Chances"... As for "Choices" it could be a lot of things... **Mmm** 1) The act of choosing; selection. 2) The power, right, or liberty to choose; option. 3) One that is chosen and bla-bla-bla - lazy to mention liao **winking smile**

Questions - how do you know on that moment of time/second.. - it is a chance or a choice? Have you ever think about it? Does it make sense to you? Have you ever experianced that moment of time? Have you ever caught yourself up in this chances & choices situation? What would you do? One damn thing for sure, I do - I do caught up in this situation. And how I wish i don't have to through it. It is so SHIT man. Sometimes I felt like pulling my hair **thank GOD, myhair still inplace**, ripping your heart (Phew! thank GOD again..I don't have any sharp stuffs. Else I need to get a personal advice from Anna), jump down from your apartment balcony **unless tsunami hits again than I have no choice**, take sleeping pills **if I didn't get any goodnight sleep, this is my solution** (stop it! I know it's bad and bla-bla-bla, I know how to control it - no worries) and whatever shit, ok. However, I still have my senses **thank GOD**, for sure and definately.. I won't do all those shits. The worst that I could do is had a good cry. A good cry.. sometimes it just freck me out when I see myself crying. **dore-mon looks better than I am, I think** But yeah, it does help you in a small tiny way. Other alternatives, I talk it out with my friends, chill out with them, play pool, go to gym - improve my side kick and punch in my kickboxing class **so that I kick ass, ok**, attend my tai chi and yoga class, salsa with my personal trainer **oh yes.. groovy baby..!!**, bottom line is.. I try to keep myself as fucking busy as I can so that I don't have to pressure myself with all this nonsense. Hey! don't get me wrong, I'm not running away from this symptoms but it just that it's not the time for you to even think about it. Maybe is not the right time for you to think or make a decision on the chances or the choices that you about to take when you feeling confused, not being rational etc .... Believed me, when you are not your-fucking-self ... you be making 99.99% wrong choices and you will definately blew your chances away **Mmm...**

Honestly, it's a bit hard when come to relationship when you caught yourself up in this chance vs choice symptoms. Well, when it involved feelings is a bit difficult to handle, I think **rolling eyes**. For example: When we meet the right person to love when we're at the right place at the right time, that's chance. When you meet someone you're attracted to, that's not a choice - That's chance. Being caught up in a moment (and there's a lot of couples who get together because of this..) is not a choice. That's also a chance. The difference is what happens afterwards **drum rolling**. When will you take that infatuation, that crush, that mind-blowing attraction to the next level? **Aha!** That's when all sanity goes back, you sit down and contemplate whether you want to make this into a concrete relationship or just a fling. If you decide to love a person, even with his/her faults, that's not a chance. That's choice. Now, do you get what I'm trying to say... **hehehe**

When you choose to be with a person, no matter what **no matter what, ok!!**, that's a damn choice. Even if you know there are many people out there who are more attractive, smarter, and richer than your mate, and yet, you decide to love your mate just the same, that's choice. Infatuation, crushes, attraction comes to us by chance. But true love that lasts is truly a choice. A choice that we make. That's why you need to be as stable as it is before you make a choice. **smile**

Soulmates - do you believe it? **deep thinking** Regarding soul mates, there's a beautiful movie quote that I believe is so true about this: " Fate brings you together, but it's still up to you to make it happen." I do believe that soul mates do exist. That there is truly someone made for you. But it's still up to you to make the choice if you're going to do something about it or not.We may meet our soul mates by chance, but loving and staying with our soulmates is still a choice we have to make. **agreed with me +winking smile** We came to the world not by finding someone perfect to love... BUT to learn how to love an imperfect person perfectly... **smile**

Do you have a journal or a diary? Well, I do. My girlfriends said that I'm crazy or too old to keep one **sigh**. When I caught myself in between of chances or choices symptoms, I release it in my journal. Not fucking sure about you readers, but as for me at least it help me to list down the pro's and con's before I take the chance and make the choice, you know what I mean **winking smile**..... Sometimes, you just need your heart to decide. Whatever that came close to your heart, well... that's the truth **winking smile**

To all my friends (well! you know who you are... thanks from the bottom of my heart for being there and support me through my hardship - love you all) **huggies**

posted by syaq @ 12:08 PM